Bad Lad

So I've finally decided to just bloody well sit down and start writing a book. Some of you know that I took a journal while I spent some weeks in Costa Rica this most recent summer, and it's going to be the backbone of this story. I'm thinking of calling it 'A Bad Lad in Costa Rica (with partially-relevant daydreams)'. It's going to be a mixture of my story there and discussions of general life that I feel were generated by all the various, ridiculous things that happened while I was there, what lead up to it, and what I've thought about since. Here's a small quote from the basic introduction that I've written:
"What is interesting in reading these is that they are completely subject to my mental state while writing. For example, the initial entries were written after I had already been to jail, and so my attitude at that point was understandably jaded."
I'm really going to try and get this thing rolling in the next couple of weeks/months and hopefully I'll have a finished product soon.

Silverware out my welcome

I'm at a fork in a considerably curvaceous road. In the obvious sense, I am going to graduate from University in less than a week. In something of a more deliberative sense, I'm at a point of pretty weak self-awareness. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Oh, I could spout off the general rubbish that grads usually do regarding job-searches, homes, traveling, etc. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm trying to understand what my character is in, specifically in terms of relationships.
I suppose there's no better example than girls. Lady-folk. Quite simply, I'm not positive of the angle I'm supposed to be taking right now. I constantly think of two opposing philosophies regarding this situation. One, the more 'Tucker Max' attitude towards women, where relationships can be ignited and then defused the very next morning. This idea makes me think that if I talk to a girl for a while (which can mean a few hours one night or a few times in one week), and I'm interested, and it doesn't really produce, then it doesn't really matter. She was bound to go somewhere else, or I said one thing that didn't sit very well and screwed my chances. Let her go, this philosophy would dictate. There are plenty more, probably better.
The opposing idea that I think about, the romantic version, which uses cliches such as "if you really want something bad enough, go after it, don't take no for an answer. It will all come around your way if you want it enough." I think this idea is a little less realistic but in reality is more appealing. Why is that? The challenge?
I suppose I've been thinking about it a lot because it correlates with the other big factors in my life. Should I chase my life dreams, not settle for the 'in the meantime' idea of life after college? I've also been sleeping alone for a few months now, with no reliable movie-watching or lunch partner. I don't want to have to try, put effort in, to hang out with someone of the opposite sex, but that's the nature of the whole thing. If it's worth it, it's going to be hard to get it.